Working in a job I hate

From Season 1, Episode 2 of Just Ask Kathleen 

“I work in admin and absolutely hate it. I've changed employers before but always end up working in the same role. And the frustrating thing is that I feel like it's the only thing I'm qualified to do, and I'll be stuck in this loop forever. I've been off sick for a few weeks because it's impacting my mental health, and I'm dreading going back. I do have some interests I'd love to pursue, but money is a big barrier for me. Otherwise, I'd go to university. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and not sure what to do.”

Kathleen           Okay. And that's a shame and how many people are in jobs that they hate? That's the sad reality. You see on Facebook, "Oh, thank goodness it's Friday. It's wine o'clock. Works over," and all that kind of stuff. If you’re doing something you love then you won't have to be posting all that stuff. But admin. Okay. So she hates it. The first thing I would do is I would say within that job, are there any aspects that you enjoy? Because I think within any job, there's usually one or two things. So it might be talking to the colleagues or it could be taking phone calls. You quite enjoy taking phone calls and it's so random and it's always different that you could quite enjoy that.

                        I would write down all the things in the admin post she has, anything at all that she enjoys, likes, get something from, even if it's just a small thing because it might help her build a picture of aspects of the work that she might want to carry on somewhere else. So if she does enjoy taking calls, it might be something to do with that, even volunteering with Samaritans or doing something where phoning people is part of the job, a big part of the job.

                        The other thing is that if you're really clear that you hate it and you also off sick because your mental health is being affected by it, you cannot continue doing that. It's absolutely imperative, and I know finances are difficult and that comes with its own worries and concerns, and it can affect mental health dramatically when people are financially unstable and just not knowing what they're going to do next.

                        But you're never going to keep good attendance at a job if you're really unhappy in it. It's impossible because your body's going to scream at you through symptoms until you do something else. So, it's counterproductive to think ‘I can just keep going with this because it earns me some money. I'll just keep going at this. I'll just keep going at this. I'll just keep going at this.’ Crash! Because if you're not happy and you're not being fulfilled, you're going to get ill anyway so that you have to withdraw and pull back from that job.

                        So, write down the things you know you love in the admin job. Write down the things you know you love to do outside of admin, and see if you can build a picture and a framework of things that you could imagine doing as an employee, bringing in these things.

                        So, there will be something. And I know she said there, "I do have some interests." Now, what did she say after that? You said, "I do have some interest," but could you not make money from them? Was that the vibe I was getting?

Emily:               She said that she does have some interests and she'd like to pursue them, university or college, but finances are a barrier.

Kathleen:          All right. Finances are a barrier. Okay. Right. So again, if she got into a job that was with a big employer, sometimes they offer continuing professional development or classes that enable you, courses rather, that enable you to get a foot on the rung of a college course that you can maybe do a night class or open learning. So it's about really just searching what companies she would like to work for, maybe ethically and morally she wants to work at different companies, quite specific, but it is about trusting that if you're really keen to get out there and do something else, you will find a way to do this.

                        What happens is we get clouded vision when we feel overwhelmed by other problems that are external but also linked. So the financial thing. We think, "Yeah, but I've got to worry. I've got to do it. I've got to do it. I've got to do it." But the more we do that, the cloudier our vision is. We're not really stopping and looking. So again, this is a good time to bring in a buddy. Bring in a friend who knows you well, but get her to bounce or him to bounce ideas. You can bounce ideas off each other and find a way to recognize what your qualities are, what skills you can bring to a workplace, and start rewriting your CV based on what you want to be doing.

Hostile work environment

From Season 1, Episode 1 of 'Just Ask Kathleen'

"My work environment feels pretty hostile at the moment. Morale isn't great since we've had a new manager who has more of a tough management style than our last one. I also think that one of my colleagues is being unfairly treated by her. He hasn't spoken to me about it, but I wonder if there's anything I can do to support him."

Kathleen: That's a good question. First things first. I would go to your colleague and have a private word with him or her, saying, "Look, I'm aware that there's a weird dynamic going on here and it feels like you're being a bit bullied. Is there anything I can do to support you other than just be here? If you wanted to speak to a line manager, the person above the manager perhaps, I'm happy to support you with that. Or if there's a union, would you like me to come with you to speak to your union rep to find out what we can do about this?"

If the manager is quite new and is doing that thing that sometimes happens with managers where they try and be extra specially stern and strict just to put their marks down, give it a week or two, but no longer than that because there's no need.

You shouldn't be going to work feeling intimidated or getting a nervous tummy on the way in to work. But the fact that this person has noticed there's something going on and the morale isn't good. Nothing will change if you just continue acknowledging that this is happening but doing nothing about it. You need to support this colleague of yours, tell him you've seen it and witnessed it first-hand and if he wants support with that, you're there for him.

It depends what you feel the dynamic is with the manager, but sometimes you can approach the manager to say, "Look, I really enjoy working in this department. Recently, I felt a little bit of friction within our work group here in this department. I wondered if there's anything I could do to support you as you're new here."

Managers don't necessarily like that, by the way, but it's worth a try if you feel confident enough. If not, then you bypass the manager and go to the person above the manager. Saying, "I'm coming to you in confidence. I want to have this conversation knowing that it's between you and I." And get that assurance first and then have the conversation about what you're feeling about morale at work and what you've witnessed.

You'll be amazed, actually. I remember when I was just 17 and I'd moved away from home three hours north and was doing my nurse training, and on my very first placement, I witnessed an auxiliary nurse being really horrible to patients. And it was my very first placement, I was just out of college, and I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing. I saw three different things within three days, and I went straight to the ward sister and told her. I was really upset because I thought, "If this is what nursing is about, I don't want anything to do with it."

I told her what I'd seen. Now this lady had been working at the hospital for years and years and years, and she was shocked. She was really shocked, and she asked if I would write it down. And then I remembered I was in a union and I said, "Well, can I come back tomorrow night then with my union rep here?" And that's what I did. When I did that, nothing happened straight away, but about a week later I was called into the ward sister's office and she told me that numerous other members of staff who'd worked there for years and years had now come forward after she'd had a meeting with them. But none of them were brave enough, and they'd been there years and years, they were somehow intimidated by this assistant. I don't know what that was about.

So it sometimes takes the newbie or the youngest member of the team to do something in response to bullying, and then the floodgates open and people get confident enough and feel supported enough to follow up with that. So I would always encourage anybody who witnesses bullying in the workplace, however, whatever form that takes to not just turn a blind eye because people really get hurt and damaged by that sort of atmosphere and behaviour.